


Still

by jishler



Series: Like Waters Poured Into One Jar [2]
Category: One Direction (Band)
Genre: BDSM, Canon Compliant, Communication, Dom/sub, Emotional Kink, Established Relationship, Kink Negotiation, M/M, Non-Sexual Bondage, Oral Sex, Subspace, but also sexual bondage too, but like... non-sexual kink..., they love each other very much!!!, uuuh here we go
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-12-26
Updated: 2020-12-26
Packaged: 2021-03-11 07:26:51
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,492
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/28347618
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jishler/pseuds/jishler
Summary: “Oh,” said Louis. He moved one of his hands to stroke through Harry’s hair again. “Like... you wanna play, but without sex?”Harry made a noise of assent. “Yeah, I dunno” said Harry. “Is that even a thing?” He pulled his hand out of Louis’s shirt and brought it up to play with the soft hair on the back of Louis’s neck instead. “I just feel like... I wanna be close to you.”(Same universe as Sweet Baby; just a few years down the line.)
Relationships: Harry Styles/Louis Tomlinson
Series: Like Waters Poured Into One Jar [2]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2075832
Comments: 21
Kudos: 162





	Still

**Author's Note:**

> This fic was partially inspired by the incredible [Look After You](https://archiveofourown.org/series/1649332) series by soldouthaz. Which I highly recommend!

> _“What device for becoming, like waters poured into one jar, inextricably the same, one with the object one adored? Could the body achieve, or the mind, subtly mingling in the intricate passages of the brain? or the heart?”_

Louis was already in the hotel room by the time Harry slipped in. 

“I’m tired of this,” said Harry as he tugged off his boots. He crossed the room, giving Louis just enough time to put his phone down safely before Harry collapsed on top of him, brown curls splayed all over Louis’s face and chest. Louis leaned up to kiss whatever part of Harry that was closest — the top of his head — and began gently combing through Harry’s hair with his fingers until it was orderly enough not to tickle his chin. 

Almost a minute later, Louis signed in reply. “Yeah.” He wrapped his arms loosely around Harry, comfort seeping into both of them as their breathing evened out. The “this'' Harry was referring to was nothing specific, Louis knew. “This'' was most everything about their current situation: The relentless schedule; the relentless closeting. They’d both been on-edge recently from a string of particularly grueling days, and these few hours between their earlier meeting and call time for the show was the first time that they’d had to themselves in a week. It felt like coming home to finally be pressed together like this with the promise of no interruptions, but Louis could still feel the undercurrent of stress between their bodies. 

After a few minutes of stillness, Harry pulled himself up enough to press one kiss to Louis’s lips. He shuffled around, and Louis just stroked a hand down his back, keeping his arms loose so Harry had room to move. “What...” Harry asked quietly after a while, once he had settled himself again. He’d pushed a hand up under Louis’s t-shirt, softly brushing his thumb over the skin on Louis’s obliques. His words were barely enunciated since his cheek was pressed to Louis’s chest. “What do you want to do?” 

This closeness; this intimacy, Louis knew, was what they both lived for. The feeling of their stomachs rising and falling against each other; the warmth of shared skin. “Mmm,” said Louis. He slid his fingers into Harry’s hair, relishing the way Harry leaned into the contact. Always wanting more. “We could... we could watch a film,” he started, words coming out slowly. He felt safe with Harry’s weight on top of him, like a promise of permanence and perpetuity. “We could fuck... We could question this hotel’s ceiling decor choices...” he trailed off as Harry giggled and twisted around to see that indeed, there was a pretty questionable print on the ceiling. “I don’t care, love. Just want you.” He pulled Harry closer and couldn’t think of a truer thing. 

“Mmm,” said Harry, echoing Louis. “All good options.” In the peaceful silence, Harry wriggled down even closer to Louis. Eventually, he spoke again. “I want... I dunno.” He lifted his head up to see Louis’s expression. “I don’t really want sex...” 

“Yeah, we don’t need to —” 

Harry kept talking. “But I feel like I wanna do, like... a scene, I think?” 

“Oh,” said Louis. He moved one of his hands to stroke through Harry’s hair again. “Like... you wanna play, but without sex?” 

Harry made a noise of assent. “Yeah, I dunno” said Harry. “Is that even a thing?” He pulled his hand out of Louis’s shirt and brought it up to play with the soft hair on the back of Louis’s neck instead. “I just feel like... I wanna be close to you.” 

And, yeah. Yeah, Louis could work with this. He’d never thought about it before, and he wasn’t sure of how it’d work, but the request made sense in his head. Sometimes, it seemed like they liked the ends of their scenes together almost better than the main event. The slow, blissful comedown, with Harry still floating and pliant and Louis’s heart bursting with awe and adoration at the trust, the devotion, the intimacy, between them. 

Actually, it could be exactly what they needed. Maybe it could be a way to crack deeper beneath each other’s surfaces and connect in a way that was so hard to do in the swirling chaos of their professional lives. To steady themselves in the face of the forces that were perpetually trying to break them up, tear them down, shove them deeper in the closet. “Yeah,” Louis breathed out. “I mean, no, I don’t know if it’s a thing. But we can do it.” His brain was already in high gear, thinking about possibilities in this new realm. 

“Yeah?” asked Harry, picking his head up again so Louis could see the light flush on his cheeks. “S’not weird? Or anything?” 

“No, I don’t think so.” Louis tipped them over so they were facing each other, on their sides. He leaned forward to kiss Harry, hoping to convey his sincerity. How much he’d love to do this. Harry looked back at him with earnest eyes, and it was moments like these, staring at each other, when Louis felt the lines between himself and his partner blurring. Like Harry could see right down through him; see every little vice and virtue that Louis had ever possessed. It used to scare him, this transparency, in their early days together. But now, looking back at Harry, he felt only comfort in knowing someone so intimately. In being known. 

“Okay,” said Harry softly. “Do you need time to... plan? Or something?” 

“Erm,” started Louis. He already had a few ideas. “Let’s just... talk about a few things first?” 

“Right, yeah.” 

“Okay,” started Louis, opening up his mental checklist. “The normal color system is still in place.”

“Right,” said Harry. “For both of us.”

“Yeah,” said Louis. “Good. Um... if, like, if you get hard or something, do you want me to bring that in? Or just ignore it?” 

Harry thought for a second, and then shook his head as much as he could with his face against the pillow. “If it turns sexual, that’s okay. It’s just, like, not the main event.” Harry paused again. “Also, tell me when we’re nearing the end? Just because I won’t have, like — a natural indication, the way I usually do.”

Louis nodded and reached out to fix a strand of hair that had fallen over Harry’s cheek. “Yeah,” he said. Their scenes usually didn’t last too long after they’d both come, unless there was some other plan they’d talked about in advance. Harry usually lost track of his mind and body in relation to real-life minutes and hours when they played, but he still liked to have a sense of where they were in the arc of a scene. He liked to know how much longer he got to stay down in that sweet place, where he was pushed and punished and held down — all in the lush safety of Louis’s hands. Louis’s wishes. Louis’s love. 

“Do you have anything specific in mind?” asked Louis. “That you want?” His own mental list of not-inherently-sexual-BDSM activities was growing by the minute, but this had been Harry’s idea in the first place. 

“Um...” started Harry. “No? I mean, part of it is letting you decide... I’ll tell you if I don’t like something.” 

Louis felt like they’d covered everything, but his mind caught on one more thing. “Clothes on or off?” he asked. “It’s more... vulnerable with them off, but if you think it’s too —” 

Harry cut him off. “No, yeah,” Harry agreed. “Clothes off.” Harry’s cheeks were pink but his gaze was steady and Louis loved him for it. Loved the way they’d learned to ask for what they wanted; loved the hard-earned communication skills that they’d developed over the years at the price of too many fights and silent treatments. 

“Okay,” Louis agreed, and Harry leaned in to kiss him again. “I love you,” he added. Just because it was true. 

“I love you,” echoed Harry. He was smiling gently back at Louis, and all Louis could do was kiss his nose and sit up in bed before his heart burst out of his chest. He worried that it might, sometimes, honestly. 

“Ready?”

“Yeah.” 

“Okay,” said Louis again, and got up to stand beside the bed. Starting a scene meant that Harry was handing himself to Louis, he knew; entrusting Louis with both his mind and body. Even after four years, the responsibility still scared him just as much as it thrilled him. He took a breath and then looked down at Harry. 

“Starting,” said Louis, softly. Immediately, Harry’s eyes flicked up to meet Louis’s. “Get up, stand by the bed.” He kept his tone gentle, but still authoritative. Louis planned on making things difficult for Harry (in a good way), but didn’t want to bring in any of the cold taunts and harsh looks that usually sent Harry spiraling (also in a good way). No, today Louis wanted to be the loving hand that broke Harry gently open and pushed him down, down, down. 

Harry pulled himself off the bed to stand in front of Louis, hands clasped behind his back. God, he was so good, but Harry would have to do a little more to earn that praise out loud. 

“Take off your clothes.” Wordlessly, Harry took off his shirt and draped it over the nearby chair. Louis watched him struggle with his belt and skinny jeans, and finally Harry was left in his pants. The moment felt sacred and vulnerable, and the room was so quiet Louis could hear Harry’s breathing. Before Harry could hesitate, Louis was nodding encouragingly. “Pants, too.” 

Louis could see pink in Harry’s cheeks as he reached down to take off his briefs. Looking over Harry’s body in front of him, it was hard to forget the countless times they’d done this when they were both hard and straining. Louis had never before commanded Harry to take his clothes off in a non-sexual context; he’d never had a reason to. Now, he ripped his eyes away from where Harry’s soft cock was nestled sweetly between his legs. He brought his focus back to Harry as a whole, who was standing obediently in front of him. 

“Lovely,” said Louis, and he watched the flush creep further onto Harry’s face. “I’m going to sit over there.” He walked over to the chair opposite where Harry’s pile of clothes now lay, and Harry’s eyes tracked Louis’s every movement as he settled comfortably into the chair, knees splayed out. “Get a pillow from the bed and bring it over.” 

Harry lurched into motion and did just that, pausing in front of Louis. “Put it on the floor,” continued Louis, indicating the space between his feet. “Kneel on it, facing me.” 

Harry flushed deeply at the instructions, but set about arranging himself on the pillow. He settled on his knees, fingers twitching at his sides as he looked up at Louis. His eyes were dark and his breath came out quickly. 

“Tell me your color.” Louis almost hated to speak, as it disrupted the perfect stillness around them. But this was so new, and Louis needed to know if he was on the right track. 

“Green,” Harry breathed back. 

“You’re not to speak, unless I ask, or your color changes,” said Louis. Harry nodded in response. 

“Good,” said Louis, almost absent-mindedly. He was already a little high on it; Harry, all tense and waiting in front of him. Their playing together, Louis had learned over the years, was all about the tension. Building and building and building, with periodic little releases that made Harry sink a little further down each time; made him able to take even more. Louis eyed the digital clock over Harry’s shoulder on the nightstand. “You’re gonna stay like this. Couple of minutes,” said Louis. 

Harry let out a deep breath, and let his gaze fall to somewhere between Louis’s thighs on the chair. He was up high on his knees, not sitting back on his heels, and Louis figured Harry could hold himself there for a few minutes within a rational level of fatigue. He knew Harry loved it when he had to strain, push himself physically, to bend to Louis’s demands. 

Louis just watched Harry, making sure to move or make some noise periodically so Harry could be sure Louis was with him still. The clock changed. Louis detected Harry’s breath evening out a bit, and when the clock changed again, he reached out and placed his hand softly on the back of Harry’s neck. 

Harry let out a whine, like one of the little sounds of pleasure that came out of him unconsciously when Louis washed his hair or kissed him just right. Affection bloomed in Louis’s chest as he gently guided Harry’s head forward so his cheek was resting on Louis’s right thigh. It was certainly an even more uncomfortable position, but Louis could see the way Harry’s eyes fluttered shut in contentment from the contact. He kept his hand on the back of Harry’s neck and hoped it felt as possessive and protective to Harry as it did to him. Every once in a while Harry’s exhale came with a little voice behind it; a quiet sound of discomfort. Or pleasure; Louis wasn’t sure. Maybe right now it was the same thing for Harry. Louis couldn’t believe they hadn’t done this before. 

“Gonna take care of you,” said Louis. He moved his thumb in a rhythmic pattern over the back of Harry’s neck. 

Louis watched the clock change twice more before Harry started to really tremble, his muscles straining from keeping such an unnatural position. Enough, he decided, and licked his lips. “Baby,” he said into the quiet of the room, voice as quiet as he could make it. 

Harry made a high noise in response, but made no move to change his position. Louis stroked both hands down Harry’s shoulders, his back, over his arms. “Did so well, baby.” Another sound from Harry’s thoat. “Can you get up now? Wanna do something else with you.” Harry lifted his head, and Louis felt the breath knocked out of him when he was met with glassy eyes, mussed hair, and pink pink cheeks. “Come here,” Louis managed to say, already leaning forward and wrapping his arms around Harry’s torso. 

Between Louis’s awkward angle and Harry’s jelly legs, they eventually got Harry situated in Louis’s lap on the chair. Louis pulled Harry’s bare skin flush against his own clothed body, wrapping himself around Harry’s body and combing one hand through his hair. “Tell me your color,” said Louis. 

“Mmm,” said Harry. “Good. Green,” he added, squirming in Louis’s lap. Now that they were touching, Louis could feel that Harry’s cock was partially hard every time it brushed against him. Louis’s own stomach swooped a bit in response, but he put it out of his head. “More.” 

Louis chuckled at Harry’s Harry-typical response — his perfect submissiveness was always in concert with impatience. Louis _would_ give him more; today was about giving him everything he wanted, but what he needed for this next part was across the room. “Can I leave you here for a second, H? Just while I get something?” 

Harry’s glassy eyes met Louis’s. Louis knew that Harry hated to lose physical contact in this state, when Harry was still lucid enough to overthink but too under to think rationally. “Yeah?” Louis pushed, wanting confirmation. 

“Mmm,” said Harry again, scooting himself to the side of the chair so Louis could extricate himself. Harry must have judged the promise of “something else” happening next was enough to make up for the loss. Louis got up to cross the room, but not before turning around to lean over where Harry was curled up on the chair. 

“Get back on your knees for me while you wait,” said Louis gently. Harry’s brain was always quieter when following an order. He manhandled Harry onto his knees on the chair, positioning him so he was sitting on his heels this time. “Good boy,” he said, and watched a little shudder go through Harry’s body at the praise. “You’re perfect, baby, just wait here,” he added, and kissed Harry’s forehead before leaving Harry’s line of sight to rifle through their bags. 

Louis hid his handful of supplies in the hotel bedside drawer, so Harry couldn’t anticipate too much. He walked back over to Harry, and tilted Harry’s chin up to look at him. 

“So good for waiting, H,” said Louis. “We’re gonna go to the bed now, and I’m going to hold you down.” Harry’s eyes widened, and Louis just smiled. “Thought you’d like that. Ready?” Louis took Harry’s hand, kissed the back of it, and led Harry back to the bed. 

“On your back, baby,” said Louis. “In the middle of the bed.” Louis climbed onto the bed himself and rearranged Harry a bit, pulling him further down on the bed so there was room above his head. He cleared the pillows off to the side, and moved to straddle Harry’s chest. “There you are,” said Louis affectionately, taking a moment to run his fingers over Harry’s expectant face. “Give me your hands.” 

Almost shyly, Harry brought his arms up and presented them to Louis. Harry’s breathing was coming fast, and he already looked a little dizzy at their position — Louis looming above him; Harry’s wrists pressed together in offering. “Thank you,” whispered Louis, kissing the knuckles on both hands. 

He took one of Harry’s forearms in each hand. Louis loved watching Harry’s face in moments like this: As Harry’s arms made contact with the mattress above his head, Harry’s eyes fluttered shut seemingly of their own accord. He let out a high-pitched sigh at the same time, and proceeded to start shifting, gently squirming under Louis’s hands. 

“Uh-uh,” said Louis, leaning even more weight into his hands. Harry wasn’t trying to escape, not really, but Louis knew he loved resisting any restraints Louis put him under just to feel their binds. “H. Stay still,” commanded Louis. 

Harry made an unhappy sound but stopped, fingers only twitching minimally. “There you go,” said Louis soothingly. He knew it wasn’t actually soothing to Harry, which was the whole point. “Being so good. If you’re good, and stay still for me, I’ll let you squirm around as much as you want.” Harry’s body made a weak twitch at the suggestion, and Louis could see him blushing, embarrassed by Louis speaking that out into the open. “There you go,” said Louis again, as Harry breathed deeply and tried to lay still. 

This position was more uncomfortable for Louis than for Harry, as he had to hold some of his weight up on his arms. He watched as Harry breathed below him, eyes closed. Louis checked the clock on the bedside table, and, estimating the time that had already passed, he gently pulled back once the clock changed again. Louis would think Harry had been asleep, if it wasn’t for the tension Louis could feel radiating from every part of his body. 

Harry’s eyes blinked open confusedly, but Louis spoke before Harry could spiral too much. “Still gonna let you squirm, baby,” he said. “But I want to be able to see you better, so I’m gonna tie you up with cuffs, yeah?” 

Harry made a grumbled noise, but nevertheless shuddered as Louis reached into the bedside drawer and pulled out their softest pair of handcuffs. He kept up a running commentary as he made the transition in restraints, mindful of Harry’s vulnerable state below him. “One hand,” he narrated as he pulled one of Harry’s hands to his chest, buckling the cuff around his wrist. “Good boy; other hand...” he did the same to the other. They both liked these handcuffs because they were detachable from each other, and had little D-rings on each so they could be attached to things separately. “Gonna attach these to the bed...” he swooped down to kiss Harry’s cheek and reached back into the drawer for two ropes and carabiners. They’d found out early on that Louis didn’t have much patience for untying knots, so they kept a collection of various ropes with loops tied at either end so Louis could just clip them together. 

He set about linking Harry’s hands to the slotted headboard a little more than shoulder-width apart, speaking softly the whole time. The pattern on the ceiling was ugly, but at least this hotel got it right with the headboard. “Look so beautiful, H, like this,” he said as he finished and moved to Harry’s side. Harry’s body was lax and his eyes were calmer: Louis could tell that the cuffs had pushed Harry deeper than before. This was the stage, now, where Harry’s own desires seemed to evaporate in his brain, replaced entirely with wanting to be good for Louis; please Louis. The timing was perfect, because they’d reached the point in the scene where Louis planned to indulge Harry the most. And it was always so much better, when Harry didn’t expect it. 

“Baby,” Louis cooed, “want to move around? You can pull on the cuffs if you want.” From where he sat beside him, Louis laid his hand back on Harry’s arm just so there was some contact between them. Harry moaned like he couldn’t believe he was allowed such a pleasure, and started into continuous motion. It was nothing violent or extreme; just small tugs at the cuffs, twists of his hips, grinds of his head back into the mattress. He stared back at Louis, eyes looking somewhere between drugged and thankful. “Yeah, that’s good, baby,” said Louis. “Know how much you like being tied down for me.” Harry only breathed deeper, eyes dropping closed again and turning a little syrupy in his movements. Double-checking that Harry’s eyes were still closed, Louis took the opportunity to survey the rest of his body. 

A lovely flush had extended down Harry’s chest, and his tummy was rising and falling in time with the little moans Harry was making on every exhale. Most arresting, though, was the sticky shimmer that was smeared on Harry’s stomach — his cock was not just hard but leaking. He’d been steadfastly ignoring sexual associations, but now Louis felt desire swoop through him uninhibited. “Oh, baby,” cooed Louis sympathetically, already reaching for the bottle of lube that they’d left on the bedside table from their quick fuck last night. Louis started talking again to cover the sound of the bottle opening. “You’re so good, you know? Love how you get like this, just for me...” He let go of Harry long enough to quickly coated his right hand in lube — they weren’t teenagers anymore; Harry deserved a properly-lubricated handjob.

Louis swept his clean hand down Harry’s torso, feeling it rise and fall with Harry’s calm breathing and languid motions. Now that Louis was paying attention, it was clear that Harry was also shifting his hips up into the air, his body seeking friction even without awareness from his mind. 

He moved his hand further down, over Harry’s stomach and hips. “You’re so hard, baby,” said Louis, and at that Harry snapped his eyes open and lifted his head to look down at his own body. The sight and Louis’s words seemed to be new information to him, and Harry’s head dropped back onto the mattress as Louis wrapped his slick hand around Harry’s cock to start a gentle rhythm. 

A deep moan rose from Harry’s throat as the shifting of his hips took on a more directed approach, languidly rocking up to meet Louis’s hand. “Oh, love,” said Louis, acutely moved by how well Harry’s body adjusted to the new level sensation. “Needed it so badly, didn’t you? Take everything you need, baby.” Harry just whined in response. 

“Still got one more thing after this,” said Louis. “Gonna let you out of the cuffs and turn you over, make you hurt a little.” 

Louis had no plans to drag this out or tease Harry; he didn’t want to make it so Harry’s orgasm felt like the climax of the scene. Louis kept his grip on Harry’s cock firm and kept his rhythm steady, fast enough to get him off but not fast enough to send him into a frenzy. Harry could come pretty quickly when allowed, and it wasn’t long before Harry was squirming blissfully as he got closer and closer. “Wanna come, H?” 

“Mmm...” said Harry, but the way moans were coming out was answer enough. 

“Feels so good, yeah? Come on baby, wanna see how pretty you look when you come, just for me...” 

With that Harry was gasping, coming, locking up and twitching as the waves washed over him. Louis tracked every detail, taking in the beauty of it all. He worked him through it, loosening his grip on Harry’s cock but still giving him stimulation, stroking slowly over the velvety skin to prolong his pleasure. 

Harry’s body resumed its previous bonelessness, feeling like putty under Louis’s clean hand as he ran it down the length of his torso. “Good, H,” Louis whispered as Harry’s eyelashes fluttered. There weren’t words in Louis’s vocabulary for how he wanted to praise Harry, but he gave him what he could. “So lovely.” He took his hand off Harry’s softening cock and reached up, opening the carabiners to release Harry’s cuffed wrists from the ropes. Louis guided Harry’s arms back down from above his head, squeezing and rubbing them to restart any circulation he might have lost. Louis sighed, eyes prickling for love of the boy in his hands. 

Harry slowly opened his eyes, looking sweetly if a little dopily up at Louis. Harry had been in various forms of physical restraint for so long that Louis felt like he might have released Harry too suddenly, so he climbed over Harry to sit on his hips, ignoring the come from Harry’s stomach that was sure to stain his joggers. Harry seemed to take well to Louis’s weight on him again, and he tilted his head into Louis’s hand when he reached up to cup his cheek. 

“Love,” started Louis. “Can you give me a color?” Harry’s mindset sometimes shifted after orgasms, so Louis needed to check in. 

“Mmm,” said Harry, still wriggling a bit under Louis’s weight with his eyes closed. It was subconscious at this point, Louis was sure, and Louis was hopelessly endeared. “Green.” 

“Do you want to keep playing? Or stop here?” 

Harry lifted a sleepy hand between them, and clumsily stroked over Louis’s cock through his trousers. Louis gasped, completely unprepared. “Wanna... make you come.” said Harry. “Fuck my mouth? Please,” he tacked on. 

Louis reeled a bit, and reached down to take Harry’s hand off his cock as to form a sentence. “Okay, baby,” said Louis. He kissed the hand of Harry’s he was holding. “You don’t want the last thing, then?” Just to make sure. 

“Oh,” said Harry, wrinkling his brow. “Tired... want it... tired,” he concluded ungrammatically, but Louis understood. 

“Don’t think you’re ready for lots of pain right now, yeah?” confirmed Louis. “How about I give you just a little, then I have your mouth?” 

“Mmm,” consented Harry happily. Louis made to get up from Harry’s stomach, but Harry tugged on his hand before he could move. “Lou, kiss.” 

Louis let himself be pulled down easily. He sighed into the softness of Harry’s mouth, losing himself somewhere between Harry’s tongue and teeth. It was only a sudden brush of his still-hard cock against Harry’s stomach that brought him back to the present. Louis pressed one more kiss to Harry’s lips before pulling back. “Wanna hurt now,” whispered Harry, and Louis didn’t bother to suppress his giggle. 

“Just a little bit,” reminded Louis, and shuffled himself down to be between Harry’s legs instead of straddling his stomach. He ran his hands up the insides of Harry’s thighs, loving the way Harry’s legs parted so easily for him, letting him in. There was still a drop of come clinging to the tip of Harry’s cock, so Louis leaned up to suck the head into his mouth and clean it off. Harry twitched and groaned, but Louis pulled off before Harry could protest too much. 

Instead, he turned his attention to the insides of Harry’s thighs. He pinched some flesh between his thumbs and forefingers, gradually increasing the pressure until he was squeezing as hard as he could. Harry let out a high little sound, and Louis counted to twenty in his head before gradually reducing the pressure in his fingers. Harry had started shifting again, alternatingly leaning into and away from the pain. 

Louis had never understood why pain like this was so sweet to Harry. It’d taken Harry ages to convince Louis to give the level of harshness that Harry so craved; for Louis to realize that, sometimes, safely inflicted pain _was_ a way to love Harry, not to hurt him. Now, he moved his hands to Harry’s other leg and repeated the process, this time adding his mouth between his hands and sucking a gentle bruise into the skin. 

“Hurts, H?” asked Louis rhetorically, before switching legs again. 

“Mmm,” said Harry, bending his leg to escape Louis’s grasp but letting Louis pull it back. Louis gave him one more set of marks on each side before smoothing his hands over Harry’s thighs again, kissing over each bruise and red patch he’d left. 

“All done,” said Louis. “Good, baby?”

“Yeah,” sighed Harry. “My mouth,” Harry demanded sleepily, as if Louis could have forgotten. “Please.” Louis couldn’t deny him a thing. 

He took his shirt off and peeled himself away from Harry’s body, standing up beside the bed to pull off his joggers and pants. “Baby,” said Louis as he climbed back onto the bed and rearranged them. Harry was in his most soupy state, completely pliant as Louis turned him onto his side and tucked a pillow under his head. “Honey, darling. Can’t believe you’re mine.” Louis also settled himself on his side, with his head up near the headboard so his cock was level with Harry’s face. He pulled Harry in so they were curled around each other. Louis wasn’t sure Harry had ever sucked him off in this position before, but right now he needed the intimacy of it. 

Louis put one hand on the back of Harry’s head and took his cock in the other. “Open,” whispered Louis. Harry opened his mouth, wrapped an arm around Louis’s waist, and shut his eyes contentedly as Louis delicately fed him his cock. “Regular system, remember, H?” This was their replacement for colors when Harry’s mouth was otherwise occupied: two taps for “okay;” a pinch for “stop.” Harry tapped Louis’s waist twice.

From there, things were a bit of a haze. Louis gave Harry some time to adjust to having his mouth full, but after four years Harry didn’t need much. Louis tightened his grip in Harry’s hair and used it to pull them towards each other, sliding his cock deeper into Harry’s lush mouth. The next few minutes were but a shivering montage of pushing and pulling, rocking his hips, Harry’s exhales on his skin, periodic breaks for him to breathe. “Baby,” Louis groaned into the air, the first words spoken since Louis had pushed in. “Baby, close...” 

Harry just hummed and wiggled closer, and Louis thought, not for the first time, that Harry’s eagerness to get his throat fucked might someday be what sends Louis to an early death. He shut his eyes and pulled Harry closer, closer, and then he was coming, falling, into Harry’s waiting mouth. 

It was only after Louis came that Harry started to move his mouth, gently sucking on Louis’s cock, kissing it, rubbing his face along it. “Harry,” Louis croaked out. “Fuck, baby.” The pressure stayed pleasant instead of too much, and eventually it seemed that Harry had gotten his fill as he pulled off and looked up at Louis, looking as content as he’d ever been. 

“Come...” Louis trailed off, reaching down for Harry. Wordlessly, Harry climbed up to collapse into Louis’s body. Chest to chest, they tangled themselves in each other as their breathing began to slow. 

They stayed like that for a long time in silence, a blanket of serenity around them. Eventually, Harry spoke where his face was buried into Louis’s neck. “Talk about it later?” 

“Yeah,” said Louis. “I loved it, though, it was amazing... you’re amazing.” 

“Me too, gotta do it again,” said Harry. “Talk about it later... love you... sleep now,” he concluded and dug himself deeper into Louis’s chest. 

“Sleep now,” agreed Louis. And everything around them kept spinning, the winds of money and contracts and fame continued to howl outside, but in Louis and Harry’s little cocoon, everything was still.

**Author's Note:**

> authors always apologize for writing sickly sweet endings... I will not apologize... these two are hopeless romantics and i am too 💖
> 
> Thank you so much for reading! Please please please leave a comment to let me know what you liked, what you didn't like, what you ate for breakfast... Truly, comments make my day <3
> 
> Reblog the fic post on [tumblr](https://jishlerfics.tumblr.com/post/638609253940281345/oh-said-louis-he-moved-one-of-his-hands-to), or just come say [hi](https://jishlerfics.tumblr.com/).


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